Hard Times

Maybe we will look back on this year and see why we had to be apart all the time, but maybe we won't. I don't think I am at peace with that fact yet. All I know is it is hard. It is hard to go through half the month without my best friend here. It is hard to maintain a relationship 500 miles apart. It's just hard. I get so lonely without my sweet husband here. I have a HUGE respect for military families. I honestly don't know how you do it.  I'm stuck between not wanting to bother other people by letting me hang out at their house, and not wanting to be alone.

God has proved over and over that this is clearly the path we are supposed to be on, and that it is supposed to be hard. But I don't understand. And maybe I'm not supposed to. Our timing is not God's timing. Our plans apparently are not God's plans. I'm reminded of that as I watch other people in the Body suffering as well. I don't understand it, but I know God is good

First Success!

I have decided i LOVE not being in school. I get off work and have nothing else to do. TJ spend our weekends with friends, screaming at the TV during the football game, and like many Aggie fans, having our heart broken weekly. BUT all that aside, I have developed a small addiction to Pinterest. I spend all this time looking at all these creative women and how beautiful their homes are. *Reality check, most of them probably don't work 45 hours a week, I try to keep that in mind* But this weekend I made a wreath for our front door. I was so excited. TJ tried to share in my enthusiasm, but alas, boys just don't get amped up over a wreath. He tried though :)

Well, we are full swing in this new season of life. TJ has finished 2 of his 11 rotations, I am finished with turn and TJ has now has 6 weeks in the office. We have been married 8 months and God has blessed us with many experiences we never thought we would have. We have learned what it means to budget....for real budget. We have learned what it means to blow the budget. We have learned to enjoy just being together rather that going and doing something all the time.
This month is a big month. We are getting a matching bedroom set. oh and it is KING SIZE! umm HECK YES!



it is so pretty! I am so excited! It is so nice having TJ home for this month. I never realized how much fun it is to have your husband in the same city. Weird I know. We have decorated our apartment *pictures to follow when we get our new bed set* Life is grand. It is cool outside in the mornings this week so we have sat out on our patio and read together. Blessed. Life is challenging but God has blessed us with this month to refresh us before we head back into TJ's rotations. Good news, our birthdays are on Wednesday this year, so TJ comes home from rotation on his birthday in October and my birthday in November. Yes our birthdays are always on the same day of the week! LOVE that random piece of trivia

I have gotten addicted to pinterest. I don't know what I did before it. It has so many amazing recipies and I just want to try them all.


Menu:

Tuesday: Cream Cheese chicken, potatoes, veggies
Wednesday: Taco Braid
Thursday: Chicken, bacon, avocado quesadillas
Friday: Papa Murphy's date night
Saturday: Crock pot hawaiian BBQ chicken
Sunday: Enchilladas & Creamy jalapeno ranch dip w/ smores croissants for dessert

"after dealing with the unpleasant people that I couldn’t control or make go away… I began to need Him. I began to realize that my strength was not working." I read this in my devotion this morning. Life isn't all about what you can accomplish and who you can become. It is about who God makes you and what challenges He puts in your path to mold you into a creature dependent on Him for survival. For life and energy. At this point in the year 14 hour days are normal, and even expected. I never minded working long days. In fact, I like it. I love being busy and seeing things get done.

But busyness doesn't replace Jesus. It can't. Because then I'm just a person who can't sustain myself.

*Whew*

God has us in an interesting places. New jobs, marriage, husband away for 2 weeks at a time. Its a tough season. If anyone knows me they know that my idea of a good time is for nothing to change. But I have read the Bible alot and I have never seen that promised anywhere. I always thought once tests and papers were over, we would have more time. It amazes me that today is Friday again....where did this week go. I've worked 50 hours, TJ has worked nine 12+ hour days in a row. Our lives are crazy. When we talk at night I put the phone on speaker and keep working so it seems like TJ is there and not just on the phone. But through it all we see how God is so faithful. These first two rotations come during the busiest part of my year, so it makes it easier. I come home and collapse, talk to TJ and go to bed. That is about how it would be if he was here. So in a way, these first two rotations have been blessings in that by the time I am done with turn, we will have already done 2 rotations. TJ has already been gone 9 days and will be home in 5 :) Thank goodness!




"He is before all things and in him all things hold together" Col 1:17

Life at our house

16 Then King David went in and sat before the LORD, and he said:

“Who am I, LORD God, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?



Alot has happened in the past few weeks. TJ has started work. He LOVES BP and the people he works with which is such a blessing. Life has been a little crazy. Alarms start going off about 4:30 and by the time we both get home from work it is almost 7pm. So life has been busy. To be honest, I didn't feel quite ready for life to pick up that quickly, but I guess God never sat me down and asked for my approval on our life. Haha! Sometimes we just get to sit before the Lord and ask how it is the Lord has already brought us this far. What a blessing. I am married to the man of my dreams who passionately loves the Lord and walks with Him daily. That same man of my dreams spends time every day serving me and making sure that all my needs are met. That same man of my dreams drives 3 hours to and from work every single day so that I could be with Living Hope when he leaves on rotation. Be jealous. I married the most selfless man on the planet. And on Tuesday I got the text message I had been dreading. Rotation is starting. TJ leaves early on the 13th and will be back the 27th. How am I doing? umm I cry alot, but then I rememeber the verse above...."who am I that YOU have brough me this far?" Amazing. Don't get me wrong. By no stretch of the imagination am I looking forward to this. This starts a year that will fly by and drag on forever. I cannot even tell you the changes that are coming this year. And I'm sure God has even more than we know. Looking for jobs in Houston, moving to Houston, leaving our family at LHBC.....life moves way to fast.

Yesterday, Kristen and I finally legally changed our names. Odd feeling. We didn't like it. Oh, and 3 hours and the DPS didn't help that. Then I went to the bank and they told me they didn't know an Amanda White so they wouldn't talk to me unless TJ signed off that he knew I was his wife. I lost it. I pulled the crazy lady card. "My-husband-works-in-houston-and-is-leaving-in-less-than-a-week" I'm not proud of it, but I did it. Clearly I handle change well.

So please be praying for us. TJ leaves in less than a week, his wife is a mess. Pray for safety while he is gone. Pray for comfort for both of us. Pray our marriage is strengthened during this time. What a blessing it is to sit in the presence of the Lord and know He goes with us. Everywhere we go, He is already there.

And it finally hit me....

my husband is leaving soon. my best friend won't be here every day with me. And today, that is a little too much to deal with. I don't know why God picked this path for us, but it is hard. And I don't want to do it.

Psalm 30:11-12


11 You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;you have loosed my sackclothand clothed me with gladness, 12 that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent.O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever!